The waves sweeped everything that was in the way, every living thing lurked to it's spot as the waves
continues it's work. Before all this happened God was annoyed by what the civilians have done.
So he shaked the living land until it woken up the waves and that is how everything has gone completely
rage. Tears went my cheek as my chest tightened itself up. The waves have receded and the wind
cease, all that was left were wrecked houses and bodies on the street. Tears swelling in my eyes as I
crossed the street with silence… to be continued…
WALT: use show not tell
In our class we are learning to use show not tell for writing and for this we had to chose and emotion
and write a paragraph about using show not tell. This was a hard thing for me because show not tell
is something that I am not good at, so I tired and I hope you like it.
My question is what emotion do you think I was implying in this paragraph?
continues it's work. Before all this happened God was annoyed by what the civilians have done.
So he shaked the living land until it woken up the waves and that is how everything has gone completely
rage. Tears went my cheek as my chest tightened itself up. The waves have receded and the wind
cease, all that was left were wrecked houses and bodies on the street. Tears swelling in my eyes as I
crossed the street with silence… to be continued…
WALT: use show not tell
In our class we are learning to use show not tell for writing and for this we had to chose and emotion
and write a paragraph about using show not tell. This was a hard thing for me because show not tell
is something that I am not good at, so I tired and I hope you like it.
My question is what emotion do you think I was implying in this paragraph?
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ReplyDeleteHi Moni, what I at least think of what you were trying to imply is and emotions of sadness and a little bit of grief that's what I think. Well done you did a fascinating job of show and not tell. Some of the text there told what the emotion was already implied such as like rage and annoyed am I right? I suggest keeping it consistent all the way. on top of all that well done.
ReplyDeletethank you Niel for your feedback I will take on your feedback and do what you have said.
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